It's something I've been thinking about recently.
What are roots? What do people mean when they talk about putting down roots in place?
Does having a physical home count? Or is there something less tangible that qualifies someone as having put down roots?
I have a home. I've lived in the same city, in the same house for the last 21 years. And yet I don't feel like I actually have very much of a connection to this place. To this house and the people in it, sure. But, if tomorrow they said "go, be free, live your life", I would. I would leave and probably not feel too much of a twinge.
I love this city and I feel like it's trying to rip itself apart, but I don't think I would miss it.
Last night I realised, I have all of 2 reasons to stay here. My family, and my math classes.
I'm not sure how/what to feel about that. Am I being to clinical? Should I be more emotional? Does it matter that I don't really have any personal relationships in this city?
I try to figure out what persona relationships mean to me, but I don't really seem to come up with anything. I seem to have found the minimum amount of personal contact/relationships I require. Is that a bad thing?
It's quite possible that this means that I'll end up being alone. But every time I think about the things people have to do to find their significant other, I feel exhausted. Like it's an unnecessary expenditure of energy for something that won't really be worth much in the end. It seems to cost much more than it's worth.
The guys I've liked for the better part of 4 years, probably from lack of anyone else coming along, is getting engaged soon. I feel sad. I feel like I may not be worthy of being with someone, or that the goals I've chosen in life make being with someone difficult, if not impossible.
What are roots? What do people mean when they talk about putting down roots in place?
Does having a physical home count? Or is there something less tangible that qualifies someone as having put down roots?
I have a home. I've lived in the same city, in the same house for the last 21 years. And yet I don't feel like I actually have very much of a connection to this place. To this house and the people in it, sure. But, if tomorrow they said "go, be free, live your life", I would. I would leave and probably not feel too much of a twinge.
I love this city and I feel like it's trying to rip itself apart, but I don't think I would miss it.
Last night I realised, I have all of 2 reasons to stay here. My family, and my math classes.
I'm not sure how/what to feel about that. Am I being to clinical? Should I be more emotional? Does it matter that I don't really have any personal relationships in this city?
I try to figure out what persona relationships mean to me, but I don't really seem to come up with anything. I seem to have found the minimum amount of personal contact/relationships I require. Is that a bad thing?
It's quite possible that this means that I'll end up being alone. But every time I think about the things people have to do to find their significant other, I feel exhausted. Like it's an unnecessary expenditure of energy for something that won't really be worth much in the end. It seems to cost much more than it's worth.
The guys I've liked for the better part of 4 years, probably from lack of anyone else coming along, is getting engaged soon. I feel sad. I feel like I may not be worthy of being with someone, or that the goals I've chosen in life make being with someone difficult, if not impossible.
